No matter where each of us is on our homeschool journey, something we all have in common is that there are times in our lives that are just hard. Like, flat-out, no getting out of it, seriously difficult. The difficulty can come for a variety of reasons…happy, sad, or indifferent. Moving to a new house? Hard. Losing a loved one? Hard. Having a new baby join the family? Hard. Job loss or change for mom or dad… Older sibling going off to college… Medical issues… Major family schedule or dietary change needed… All hard! Any time we need to make any kind of change from what was our “normal,” to a new “normal,” we feel the pressure as parents. Our kids feel these changes, too. They feel our stress, excitement, sadness, grief, upheaval…whatever it is. They share in our emotions, and that’s a good thing to know!
As far as schooling is concerned, sometimes these situations require our full attention as parents/adults, and it becomes necessary to pause our school year altogether. I am here to tell you that it is completely ok!!! One beauty of homeschooling is being flexible enough to be able to do that without someone breathing down your back to return to working. Please trust me when I tell you this: Your child/children will benefit so very much from seeing you set the example of being able to give grace, make adjustments, and change schedules as is needed to suit your family MUCH more than they would benefit from being forced stressfully through a month of schooling with a distracted and stressed out mama. They experience that stress, too, and it’s the healthiest for young ones if we are available to them to help them through it. Throwing school pressure into the mix is not a great combination for facilitating that. I promise you, if you need to take a month off, it will be ok. We have needed to do this several times along our homeschool journey. The three most recent times we have needed a break were when we moved to a new state, when one of us was hospitalized (and then recovering), and when one of us was fighting cancer. We took full, one month breaks each time, and guess what? The kids are not only still surviving, but they are actually thriving.
Sometimes, life gets a bit hectic and instead of needing a total hiatus, all your family may need is a little deceleration as far as school is concerned. Maybe backing off on the number of days per week, or even number of subjects covered in a day, will help you and your kids breathe easier. You can probably guess by now what I am going to say: doing this is also completely ok!!!
Another idea is to keep everything in place, but slow down the forward progress temporarily. Do you normally do one whole math section per day? Try half one day, and finish the remainder (get it, remainder?? Pardon the teacher joke…) the next day. Do you normally cover a chapter of history per week? Try stretching it out to two weeks. And so on. I know that this seems simple enough, but I also understand that as mamas we agonize over whether we are doing “enough” or “ruining their childhood.” I get it. I see you. And we have all been there.
A little thing I like to do if I see that my kids are feeling stressed, or feeling MY stress, is to take a surprise “free day.” We just did this last week while coping with the loss of a beloved pet. It looks like this: They wake up in the morning to a nice big breakfast, all ready for school, and then I make a surprise announcement that school has been cancelled today and they can do whatever they want! It is one way I can turn a stressful, or even un-fun day, into a more joy-filled day for them. Their faces light up, and then they cheer. I must admit that this display of celebration does my own heart a world of good, too. And what mama doesn’t need that encouragement? After all, homeschooling is about family, togetherness, and learning all at the same time, wrapped in paper, tape (copious amounts of tape, haha), and colored with brightly hued markers. While it isn’t always the prettiest or neatest thing to behold, the heart of homeschooling shines through.
I want you to know that what you are doing is so much more than “schooling” your children, as I like to call it. You are showing them the beauties and hardships of life, and how to navigate them. You are teaching them every moment of everyday how to do this life. That is priceless knowledge, and you are giving them the best gift ever by sharing life’s whole journey with them. Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Those words ring true in every situation…even in homeschooling! So I encourage you today, mamas, to take a breath AND a break when you need it. It is ok. It is more than ok. It is of utmost importance that our kids see us practicing balance and seeking joy in real life, even when times are hard. Sending love and joyful thoughts your way today.
If you would like to read more on this topic, I found a few wonderful resources for you.
https://www.parentingscience.com/parenting-stress-evidence-based-tips.html
https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/yoga-stress.html
https://www.childrens.com/health-wellness/stress-relief-activities-for-kids