On a hot summer night, 42 years ago, a strawberry-blond baby girl took her first breath and loudly announced her presence in this world. And she has hardly ever stopped announcing it. In fact, she continues to claim her space on this planet and sprinkles joy wherever she goes. There was a brief time when she lost a bit of herself and her sparkle dimmed, but that time didn’t last. She loves glitter. She loves turquoise and purple. She loves her family, music, flowers, nature, animals, children, and God. There’s no fooling you, friends; You already know that baby girl is me. I am so excited to share with you today this list of journal prompts presented in story form. Every time you see a question in BOLD lettering, it’s another chance for you journal your thoughts. The first four are in list form to get you started. The rest will be scattered throughout the story. If you tackle one per day, I’m estimating there are about two weeks’ worth of journal prompts for you.
- What do you love? Why?
- Do you surround yourself with it?
- Do you share it with others so it multiplies?
- How do you claim your space and your place here on this earth?
All these questions are deep. They all hold great meaning and value. Grab your coffee and your journal and come along with me. It won’t take long. Let me share more of my story with you, and maybe you will be able to share yours, too.
As a young child, I knew that I loved nature. I felt relaxed outside. I could hear God’s heart outside. My brother and I spent countless hours in the yard playing, dreaming, pretending, riding bikes, and exploring the hills around our house. We had so much fun. Our parents also took us camping in the mountains to a very special place every summer; a place that is so special it feels sacred. And to us, it is. Our family has been going there for five generations. When I am there, I feel transformed into the version of me I was always meant to be. I think that’s why I have a deep longing to be in the mountains sometimes. They speak to my soul and bring me peace. One day, maybe we will retire up in the mountains somewhere. What place helps you feel this way? What is it about it?
By the time I was a preteen, I had my entire life planned out. I knew I wanted to get married, have kids, and be a teacher. Simple, yes, but for an eleven year old, that’s pretty darn decisive. Haha. I loved kids already and enjoyed learning how to babysit. I also enjoyed learning about different animals by taking care of neighbors’ pets when they were out of town. Again, when I was around children and animals, everything in life felt “right.” I knew they were part of who I was made to be. What did you want to be when you were young? Did you end up changing your mind?
I remembering feeling very outspoken on many things when I was young. I had big opinions on many important topics. I didn’t yet know how to express my thoughts in a way that seemed mature, so I often didn’t. I also remember feeling frustrated about this, and I was aware that not a ton of other kids shared my zeal. So although I felt outspoken, I actually was not. At least, not yet. I hadn’t found my voice, but that time was coming. Did you like expressing your opinions as a child? Were you good at it? How do you know? Has that changed?
When I was a teenager, I started to find my voice through writing. I took Honors English classes because I liked the challenge. In one particular class, I was criticized and mocked by a teacher for including my faith in an essay. She was later demoted from department chair because my parents bravely took the issue to the school district. (I’m looking at you, Mrs. C. Your intent to discourage was turned into fearlessness in writing, thanks to my parents’ action on my behalf.) I became emboldened to write from the heart. I was only 15 when I began writing poetry, essays, short stories…most of which I kept to myself and never shared, because that wasn’t the point. I was strengthening my voice. It would still take some time to become comfortable with letting others see my thoughts, but deep down I knew the day would come. What was something that happened during your teenage years that shaped who you are, or what you do, today in a GOOD way?
During college, I will tell you that it really just seemed to me like more of what I had done in high school. I continued to think, try new thoughts on, write, edit, and explore the world. Just like in high school, I was extremely self-motivated and pushed myself to earn good grades. I worked 25 hours per week, and took 16-17 units per semester. This began to wear on me a little, stealing some pieces of joy here and there, but overall I was a happy, productive young woman on her way into the rest of her planned-out life. I was very busy, and I liked it that way. How did the years directly after high school affect your life today? What choices are you absolutely happy you made at that time?
I got hired right out of college…literally plucked out of my last semester of the teacher credentialing program. I ended up finishing the program as an internship while teaching…a fabulous way to learn, if you ask me! My sweet husband and I got married a month after I was hired, which was a few weeks after I had laid in the hospital nearly dying from E.coli poisoning. Fun times. I was engulfed in constant lesson planning, learning to run a household, and healing my body, so needless to say, in this time of my life I did not write anything other than things for my classroom. It’s strange that even though I gained so much experience and was extremely pleased with my life, husband, and job, I didn’t realize that I was accidentally ignoring my voice. I had things to say, but no time or energy to think about saying them. After a while, I felt like something was missing, but I didn’t know what. I was happy, and I figured that feeling was normal…I’m still pretty sure it is a normal feeling many people have. What thing was/is missing in your life that used to be there? Do you miss it, or is it good that you’ve moved on from it?
So here comes the game changer. The bloom. The awakening. Whatever you want to call it, I found my voice again the moment I laid eyes on our first baby. I was immediately transformed into a mama bear. As you read in the piece The Homeschool That Almost Wasn’t, I stopped working to focus on our incredible baby when she was born. The longer I was a mama, the louder my voice became. This phase of life still didn’t allow me time write (new baby, go figure, HA!), but I did have countless hours while nursing her to think. To reflect. To imagine. I hadn’t really done that in a long time. I began slowly writing a few things down in her baby book, and I remembered how much writing soothes my soul. Like the mountains do. Are there things that you are returning to/want to return to that sooth your soul? What are they?
I became very good at expressing myself when it came to our children. That little girl who felt outspoken, but was usually silent? Well, she found her voice and boy did she learn to use it! I think even my husband, who knows me like the back of his hand, was a little surprised at how strong my opinions are when it comes to anything that has to do with our babies…again, with the mama bear thing. I was no longer afraid to do my own research, stand up to a doctor if I disagreed, or speak up against products that had harmful ingredients. I stood strong if anyone questioned our decisions as parents, because I knew that since we didn’t take anything lightly, we had come to those decisions after fully vetting all options. We began to choose things for our kids that were maybe different than the mainstream, but that we had full confidence in. Homeschooling is a prime example. Don’t even get me started on the comments, pitying looks, or eye rolls. Needless to say, we persevered and are experiencing beautiful success in that area. We also began using a more holistic approach to our healthcare by incorporating natural things like essential oils, higher quality food, etc., and by removing artificial ingredients like colorings, flavorings, sugar substitutes, and preservatives. This was not initially well-received by everyone we knew, but I learned to speak up anyways and use the voice I had found. We started to feel great, and are still enjoying feeling great today. By the way, many people who questioned us on those two areas now tell me that they wish they had been brave enough to choose those things when we did. Talk about a humbling conversation! What things in your life have you stood your ground on, and are now so happy you did?
Now that you have made it all the way through 42 years of me finding my voice, there is one more step. When I launched this community, {Perfectly} Happy At Home, it was the rebirth of my writing voice. The same one that my 10th grade teacher tried to squash. The same voice that got lost in the shuffle of life in my young adulthood. The same one that emerged out of the fire of motherhood and burst into the open. I have returned to the joy I find in writing, and I have learned of the immense gratitude I feel because I have this opportunity to share my thoughts with you. And now it’s your turn. The last step is one I cannot take for you. What do you find joy in, that you can return to (or do more of)? Will you be brave enough to do it? I think you will, mama. I think you will.