The Homeschool That Almost Wasn’t

If you’re anything like I am, you have moments of reflection from time to time. For some of us, this happens when journaling. For others, this happens at random times just through thinking about things. Maybe you reflect in both ways, or a completely different way altogether. Whatever your reflection looks like, have you ever wondered, “How did we even get here in our homeschool journey, anyways?”

It’s a valid question whether you’re thinking about homeschooling, just starting out, are a seasoned pro by now, or your journey has finished and your kids are grown. What made you think about homeschooling? What made you continue? Did you ever come to a point that you thought you would give up and enroll the kids in a traditional school?

Today I’m here to tell you our family’s homeschooling story, in hopes that it sparks hope and joy in yours. Because our kids are older, we’ve got to go waaaaaay back…let’s start 20 years ago. Picture this: a newlywed couple, who are also new college grads, happily starting off on their path in life together. We both got our first jobs in our respective fields, and worked hard to make ends meet in expensive, but sunny, southern California. In the first few years of my teaching career, the only thing I knew about homeschooling was that it was a horrible thing to do a kid. (Yes. I’m sad to say I really did think this was the truth…don’t worry…you know how happily this story ends already.) I saw several students for whom homeschooling had not been the best fit for various reasons, who come through our school and it wasn’t great. They were often socially awkward, either way behind or way ahead of the school curriculum, and spent their school hours standing off by themselves, not knowing how to interact. I was actually horrified. Also, I was 22 and did not yet realize that I didn’t actually possess the life experience I thought I did, haha. Basically, I jumped to the conclusion that homeschooling in general was a bad idea, based solely on the few cases I had personally encountered where there were large issues.

I look back in pity at that young teacher in me…goodness…a little grace and understanding would have taken me a long way. Eventually, though, I did learn the value in both of those. Thank goodness! Anyways, life marched forward, and now my husband and I started to think about starting a family. It didn’t happen right away. Like other typical young couples, we got a puppy. HA! Remember Ruby, who I wrote a memorial for a few months ago? Yep, she was that sweet puppy. Not one year later, we also discovered the incredible news that we were going to expand our family again, but this time with our first human baby! We were beyond thrilled!

With baby on the way, and the school year coming to an end, we decided that I would not be returning to the classroom right away. I gave notice at work. I was sad to leave the classroom, but ecstatic to be a mommy! After a rough pregnancy, our healthy baby girl was born in the fall, and life was perfect in our eyes. We had always tentatively planned that I would go back to work in a classroom once she was school-aged and would have the same hours as I did. We thought that sounded like the perfect plan…until it wasn’t.  I took one look at that baby girl in my arms and something in my heart screamed that I never wanted to send her off to school. I was shocked by my own realization. More on that in a moment. As always, God’s plan is so much more perfect and beautiful than ours. When our baby girl was 13 months old, we found out the joyful news that our family was growing again!

We would have two babies under two years old! We were over the moon. Babies are always blessings, and we were definitely ready for another! Our bouncing baby boy was born the following summer, and life was…you guessed it…perfect. Hahahahaha…oh mamas I’m just kidding! Life wasn’t perfect!! It was chaotic, messy, exhausting, expensive, and generally insane. But we truly did love it. Our babies were (and are still) gifts, and we have always seen them as so. So, no matter the chaos, we all survived. In fact, even through the struggles, I will say this: We thrived. We did it. We stuck together and loved our little family as hard as we possibly could. And that was enough.

When our youngest was about a year old, I was invited to become a permanent part-time teacher for a private school that was actually full of homeschoolers. While quite the unique situation, it was great for us!  It was one day, for three hours, per week. I asked my cousin if she would be willing to watch the kids while I did that, and she agreed. I was back in the classroom! Just not full time. And I liked it! I did this for five years. During those five years, I decided to do my own version of preschool with the kids. We had the BEST time. The art projects, alphabet, counting games, nature walks, trips to the park and the farm…these are still some of my favorite memories. By the time our daughter was nearing kindergarten age, I knew there was no way I wanted to miss that!!! We had so much fun learning together, and neither of us wanted it to stop.

One little speedbump…my husband wasn’t yet totally on board. He had seen the same “homeschool fails” as I had in his own coaching career. He had heard the stories. He wasn’t really a fan of my big idea at first, but he was willing and open to listen to my research. He had questions. Would our kids become antisocial? Would they even learn the same things? What about college??? Knowing that these are completely valid questions, I set about researching all the things. What I came up with even surprised me! And it also reassured both of us that this “crazy notion” I had wasn’t actually crazy after all. It was perfect. And I do mean PERFECT.

I quickly realized that our non-traditional family schedule (we owned gyms at the time, which my husband ran), my comfortability with teaching, our kids’ penchant for the outdoors, and the ultimate freedom with our daily calendars was going to be a win-win situation for us. I went all in. I checked out homeschooling styles and curriculums. After I read the book Charlotte Mason Companion, by Karen Andreola, I was certain that this style of schooling was right for us. (Yes, I recommend that ALL homeschoolers check this book out!) And off we went. The story just gets better from there.

We also joined two organizations: the private school full of homeschoolers that I had been teaching for (so that the kids could meet friends at the park days), and the HSLDA (Home School Legal Defense Association). Both memberships were invaluable resources, especially as we were just getting started.  In fact, we are still HSLDA members today.

We truly breezed through elementary school, not without bumps in the road, but it was so much fun to watch them learn everything, that we just worked right through the inevitable challenges that accompany any type of schooling. One child didn’t care for reading or math, but absolutely adored art. Another child loved math and reading, but art, not so much. Finding ways to teach to their strengths while bolstering their more difficult areas was a challenge I was eager to meet. And we did it. Oh how I loved those years.

As we got into the middle school years, I enjoyed the work of challenging our kids to reach farther than they had before…to really push themselves to see what those smart brains could do. For the most part, they enjoyed it too. We did tons of extracurricular activities and sports, enrichment classes, and still spent lots of time outside, even making it to the farm once a month usually. They also got to learn the gentle art of forging true friendships, some hard life lessons, and how to relate to people of all ages. We knew and conversed with all the wonderful people who worked at our local Trader Joe’s store. It was great for the kids. We also moved states during these years, which was quite the fantastic experience. We were able to adjust our schooling schedule around our mid-year relocation, take time to re-establish ourselves in our new state, and explore our new home without the pressures and constraints of traditional school. What a wonderful way to take the stress out of a major life change!

Now, we are onto the high school years. We aren’t done yet, so I don’t have anything to say except for…THIS IS AWESOME!!! I am totally loving homeschooling in high school!! The kids are too! They get plenty of friend time, activity time, and even have extra time to spend with grandparents during the school week. THAT is so valuable!! Of course there are still the rigors of the high school workload, the higher difficulty subjects, and the learning about time management and responsibility. But to be able to be present and watch them leap into their own “boats” and take off down their paths, while still being afforded the luxury of a “life raft” and even a “rope” (us) to tether to home, is priceless. I would never want to do it any other way. And to think, it never would have happened had my husband and I not been willing to let go our preconceived notions and explore the real world of the homeschooler. What an missed opportunity that would have been for our family. It is correct that homeschooling isn’t the best fit for every family or even every student, but I’m sure glad we pursued it for ours. I want to encourage you today to keep on going if you’re already on your homeschooling journey. And if your kids are small, or big, and you are wondering about it…take some time to check it out, talk to homeschoolers (we love to share!), and maybe even try it! It’s a crazy time, but it’s also PERFECT. Perfectly imperfect, that is. And that’s exactly how we like it.